A Little Note on Hope and Reaching Your Goals

Hi everyone!

Life has been crazy busy lately, and sometimes I feel like I’m going 100 miles per hour. Freelancing is nice but I am itching to be full-time at a company, a real member of the team. My goal for this year is to get a full time job with benefits and move out of my parents’ house. Sometimes it feels like all my efforts are for naught, but I know that even small steps will lead you to your goal.

So for anyone out there that’s trying to reach their goals, just know that you’re in my thoughts, and you got this. Good things take time.



Sober Sally – Why I Stopped Drinking

I wish I could say I have a deep, theoretical reason why I stopped drinking so much. Honestly, I have nothing against drinking. I actually enjoy it. It wasn’t because I was an alcoholic, or because I was failing out of school, or because I had done something unforgivable while drinking. For me the reasoning is simple – I got tired of feeling like crap.  You know how 40 somethings joke about how they wish they could recover from a night of drinking like they did in their 20s? From the very first time I got drunk at 17, it would take me a full day to recover from the night before. Vomiting, nausea, sweating, the whole 9 yards. As I got older and graduated college, things got even worse. I’ve been battling uterine and stomach issues for the past year or so, and drinking made me feel sicker than ever before. More than once, I have come close to vomiting on public transportation.

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The Power of Perseverance

As I’ve talked about previously, post-grad life has been tough. Uncertainty about my career, moving back home and being far from the few friends I do have, and overall dissatisfaction with my current situation has had a very big effect on me. I’m no longer the confident, carefree person I once was. I’ve been working to get back at least a part of the person that I used to be, but it’s been a tough road. I was making small, but crucial, improvements, but I was dealt another blow when a job opportunity I was looking forward to didn’t pan out. I felt like crawling up into a ball and never coming out again. But I knew I couldn’t do that; I was hurt, upset, and discouraged, but I couldn’t let this knock me back into the depression of last year. I gave myself a weekend to wallow in my sadness, but after that, I chose to move on. I accepted what I was feeling at that time, but I didn’t let it consume me.

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Don’t Let Boys Take Your Stuffed Animals & Other Lessons Learned

Stuffed animals are amazing. They’re reassuring, comforting, and they remind of us hugs and kisses and our childhood. My favorite kind of stuffed animal is any form of Hello Kitty. I have an irrational love of Hello Kitty. The mouthless, fashionable cat just really resonates with me for some reason. She’s cute and always goes on the best adventures. When I turned 10, a friend bought me my first Hello Kitty stuffed animal. She wore a plaid skirt and a blue winter sweater and I loved her. So of course, when I went to college at the age of 17, I brought her with me.

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Hello September

September is finally here! I have been aching for September and fall for months now, this summer of heat waves and humidity made me realize how much I’m NOT a summer person. I love fall, the brisk breezes, the scarves you pull tighter, the crunch of  new boots on the leaves.

Even though I’m out of school, September still feels like a new beginning. Almost like  a reset on the rest of the year. Plus, September is my half birthday, so I know I’m halfway away from 23 and halfway to 24 (omg!). I’ve always been really weird about sharing my goals; I think that if I say them out loud, they won’t happen. I’m trying to do away with this negative thinking, so I’ve decided to create a list of goals I want to accomplish before we ring in 2017. The list on the left is for physical goals, while the list on the right is for mental/emotional goals.

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If You Could Only See, The Beast You’ve Made of Me

Hello everyone and welcome to our next episode of Loves Lost! If you’ve been following the series thus far, you’ll remember the time I fucked over a really good guy, the time I was dating an alcoholic, and the time I clogged a guy’s toilet. Good times. This post is going to be about the time I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. Just a warning: it’s not pretty.

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A Friend Indeed 

I’ve recently lost 2 very close friends, and it’s made me look back on all of my friendships. For some reason, my relationship with my friends has been as turbulent as my past relationships. I seem to always be the one who cares the most, who gives more, and who gets the short end of the stick. I envy people with squads, people who gave a group of ppl to celebrate their birthday with, to go to brunch with. Part of the reason I’m so obsessed with Sex and the City is because of the amazing friendship between the girls.

I haven’t always had shitty friends. Up until I moved the summer before 7th grade, I was friends with pretty much everyone in my class at my small Catholic school, and I had a great group of best friends. I even had a brief brush with popularity when I ran for (and won) vice president of the school in 5th grade. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be. When I moved to a new city in the 7th grade, it was my first time attending public school after a lifetime wearing uniforms in private school. I didn’t know how to dress, who to talk to, and was generally just an awkward mess. I was lost in the large middle school, both physically and emotionally.

The girl who was assigned to help me around the first couple weeks of school introduced me to her friends. Melody* was a lot cooler than me, and she knew it. When I asked for her number, she told me she didn’t give it out because “the people who were meant to have it already had it.” For some reason, she still hung out with me, and I thought she was my friend. The last straw came when she gave a note (remember passing notes?) that I had given to her, to my crush. In the note, I talked about just how much I liked him and how cute I thought he was. I was mortified. By the end of that year, I wasn’t friends with Melody anymore, and the one friend that I did have, deserted me as well.

In 8th grade, I actually made some real genuine friends that I was friends with pretty much all throughout high school. However, when I was in high school I noticed that I had a good number of friends, but we weren’t a GROUP. I was friends with people, but they weren’t friends with each other, which meant I often hung out with one friend with their friend group, then hung out with another friend and their friend group. It was nice, but I still didn’t have that ~squad~ feeling.

By the time I went to college, I was only talking to about 2 or 3 of my former high school classmates. Not due to fights or anything, but just drifting apart. Buttt my dream came true and my squad goals were finally achieved. I fell in very quickly with 3 other girls and we did everything together. Classes, dining hall, parties. By sophomore year this had all fallen apart (LOL). I spent the rest of college with a couple friends, but most of those friendships fizzled out by graduation.

So now we are at the present day. Obviously, a year of unemployment and barely leaving the house will not lead to many new friendships. Luckily, the environment at my first internship was amazing, and I made some great friends, but unfortunately I don’t see them too often. I’ve been struggling with feeling lonely and trying to branch out more.

I’ve been using Bumble BFF in order to try and meet some new ppl (I strongly recommend this app btw!) I do feel kind of pathetic that I’m trying to make new friends at this stage in my life, but it’s never too late to meet new people and make connections. Plus, the characters on Sex and the City didn’t meet until their 20’s/30’s 😉.

Have you had any trouble with your friends? Are you trying to make new ones? Comment below!



*names have been changed to protect the innocent. And myself, from a lawsuit.