I’ve always been very liberal when it comes social issues, and that extends to sex and sexuality. I don’t think premarital sex is wrong, and I respect people who choose to have “casual sex” (I hate that phrase), as long as they’re being careful and using protection. I acknowledge that there are people out there that have more conservative views than I do, but I try to respect their beliefs.
Yesterday on Twitter, a discussion started about premarital sex and celibacy. I agreed with some points, but couldn’t agree with others. One of the most perplexing parts of the discussion was the concept of soul ties. Soul ties, for those who don’t know, are lifelong connections between people who have had sex. After you’ve had sex with someone, your souls are forever intertwined, almost as if you’re carrying part of their soul in your body. I’ve even heard someone say that after having sex with someone, you may take some of their traits.
The soul ties argument is often sexist. Whenever this issue comes up, it is always talked about in reference to women, never men. Apparently men have the ability to have sex with someone without any lifelong connection and this burden is only bestowed upon women. Women are always seen to be over-emotional, irrational beings who are incapable of having sex without falling deeply, madly in love. This completely erases women who DO separate their feelings from sex, and society often labels these women as whores or unpure.
Further, The soul ties argument is mostly religious, but not everyone is a Christian. I respect those who wish to save sex for marriage, but there are those who believe that satan is what leads people away from God and to premarital sex. There is nothing demonic, sinful, or satan-like about one of the the most natural parts of human life. Sex existed before marriage, and there’s nothing wrong or immoral in doing it.
I never want to downplay the importance or power of sex, but the idea that someone can permanently change your being, your essence, your soul solely through their genitals is absurd. Why would have someone have that much that power over you? And like I said before, it seems like people believe soul ties only affect women. Thus, men are given this otherworldly power through their penises, the ability to pass on their personality traits and soul through sex.
Connections through sex do exist, but that connection is often over exaggerated. People are different, and their bonds with the people that they have sex with will be different. I believe that bonds between two people do not happen through sex alone, but through intimacy in a different way; spending time with each other, getting to know each other, and the like.
I’m so interested in what you guys think! What are your ideas about premarital sex and soul ties? Comment below.
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