You Have to Forgive Me

I haven’t spoken much about my dating life because frankly, there’s nothing to say right now. I spent my last year in a fog, and this year I’ve been focusing on my career. And finding friends. Finding friends is more important to me than finding a man. But one does have needs.

So until I have something juicy to report, I will be regaling you guys with tales of loves lost.

On SATC, Carrie spent a good part of the series in a relationship with a nice guy named Aidan (idk if he has a last name and I don’t feel like looking. But you guys know who I’m talking about). Aidan was nice, attentive, and had a cute dog. Basically everything someone would want in a partner. But Carrie didn’t want him. Which led to one of the saddest moments ever when SPOILER ALERT Carrie cheated on him with Big.

My freshman year at RU, I had started kinda sorta seeing this guy named Tom*. Tom was much like Aidan. He was really nice to me, texted and called when he said he would, and put up with my spoiled and often childish requests (including, but not limited to, me making him meet me halfway to his place when I could have walked there myself). There was just one problem: I didn’t want to be in a relationship. Or maybe I did, but not with him. As you can see, I was in no shape to be with someone else at that point in my life.

Instead of cutting him loose, I continued to hook up with all throughout college, until I met someone else and dropped him for good (wow that sounds bad). It wasn’t until about a year or so later, when I was looking through my old Facebook messages, that I finally realized what an ass I’d been. I mustered up the courage to text him expressing my sorrow at what I’d done to him and apologizing and he responded with a “Shit happens. That’s life”. It went down much like the infamous “you have to forgive me scene in SATC, but in text form.

Part of the reason I kept seeing him was because I knew he would be a good boyfriend, but at the end of the day, I didn’t want him to be MY boyfriend. It’s not a judgement on him, it was me. I wasn’t ready. The point of this post is to say that it doesn’t matter how nice someone is to you, or how you THINK you should be into them. If there’s no connection, or commitment, or feeling of togetherness then the relationship won’t work.

So please, don’t be like me. Or Carrie.

Xoxo,

Témi

*names have been changed to protect the innocent. And myself, from a lawsuit.

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